2) I took some stones with words on them to the cemetery yesterday to place on my husband's grave. One said "Beloved", and one said "Watch Over Us". As I stood there crying and begging him to intercede with our Lord Jesus, I wanted to hear his voice so bad, I dialed my home phone line just to hear him on the voicemail. It broke my heart to hear him say "Bye!" at the end.
Goodbye, my true love, goodbye.
3)The incredible kindness of friends and those who loved him and our family has been the most radical, amazing example of true Christian love I have ever seen. Every time I turn around, another hand is reaching out, with prayer blankets, Irish soda bread, pumpkin bread, money, help for my son, flowers, or some other much needed and gratefully appreciated item. I thank them all from the bottom of my heart.
4) This weekend the cemetery is having a day for families, with lunch, nature walks through their wooded property and trails, and a chance to fellowship with other Catholics who have lost loved ones. It is SUCH a lovely place, I wish you all could see it.
| Beautiful spring day |
| Garden of Precious Love, where Mary watches over miscarried babies |
| St Francis path |
| The death of St Joseph |
6) I am praying today for Jen Fulweiller of Conversion Diary as she undergoes a difficult medical procedure to protect her heart and lungs from clots during her delivery monday, and for Hallie Lord of Moxie Wife who is delivering today, I believe. I wish them both blessings, successful deliveries and that Jen's medical procedure goes well. Please join me in praying for them.
7) What does one do with one's wedding rings when your spouse dies? How do you go about going through their personal items, clothes, etc, and when?
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI stumbled upon your blog from Jen's Friday link up. I'm so sorry for your loss. My prayers for you and your sons, and the repose of your husband's soul.
My brother, much older than your son, has similar issues. Special prayers for you both.
Mary
Thank you so much, Mary. I hope to be able to post happier thoughts in the near future, but right now it is all I can think about. Blessings to your brother.
DeleteI am so sorry. May our blessed Mother Mary wrap her gentle arms around you, Cindy
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cindy. I just heard about another lady in our church who lost her husband last february to brain cancer and has two young boys at home to care for. I know I am not alone in this, but it feels that way sometimes.
DeleteI came to your blog after I saw a post of yours on Jen Fulwiler's blog. My heart is breaking for you. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I know that doesn't take away the awful pain that accompanies the death of someone so very dear. I know that pain that even disturbs sleep, and the millions of reminders everywhere of the person who no longer fills the space that was his here on earth. I lost a brother and my dad, and even though I don't know the pain of losing a spouse, I truly can empathize with the unrelenting pain of the loss. What I do recommend is that you don't do anything with his clothing and personal items unless and until you are ready. If you feel better about putting them in boxes so you don't see them, fine. If you feel better letting them be in the drawers and closest, fine. If you feel better wearing your wedding ring, fine. If you feel better putting it away right now, fine. If you want to wear his on your finger, fine. If you want to wear it on a chain around your neck, fine. What I am trying to say is that you should do exactly what feels best to you. This is so, so fresh, and you should not hurt yourself more by doing anything that makes you feel worse. Even if you think someone else might think it's stupid, do what comforts you or at least doesn't make it hurt more. My mom didn't ever remove any of my brother's things from his bedroom. A few years after he died one of my younger brother's asked to move into the room, and he's the one who packed up my brother's things. My mom never could bear to do it because it was acknowledging he was never coming back, and she couldn't live with that thought. (He died 2 weeks after being diagnosed of leukemia at age 20.) After he died I packed up my dad's things little by little. I think I didn't touch them for about a year. I don't know why, but it was hardest packing up and giving away his shoes and his winter coat (we live in Chicago). I think it was because of the same thing; those items are less often given away when they are in good condition, and it is an acknowledgement he is never coming back. I honestly don't know what to say to comfort you, but know you don't have to write upbeat things or try to be positive. If people don't understand, just ignore them. I will pray and ask Our Lord to visit you and let you know your Robert is safe with Him, and you will see him again. I will pray Our Lord will send you a special consolation to bring you peace. God bless you. (I'm posting under Anonymous because I don't have any of those other ID's on the list. But I post under "Bonnie" on Jen Fulwiler's page.)
ReplyDelete